So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?
by Selphiebunny
Summary: Those sloppy, wet kisses on late mornings, snuggling in the middle of the night, smiling? ...What was the world coming to? Okay, so maybe Sasuke liked it a little bit. Includes Highschool!Sasunaru shonen ai . DEAD.
1. In Denial

Disclaimer: Not mine, but if they were... well, that's left to the imagination.  
Warning: Shonen ai!  
Summary: Those sloppy, wet kisses on late mornings, snuggling in the middle of the night, smiling? ...What was the world coming to? Okay, so maybe Sasuke liked it a little bit. Includes Highschool!Sasunaru.

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best friend?  
**Prologue--In Denial  
Sasuke's POV

o-o-o

I wake up, same as every meaningless morning I'm on this forsaken, stupid planet.

So my vocabulary isn't so high and mighty at the ungodly hour of... six-thirty, blow me. To my immediate right, nothing, but (there's always a but and right now it's stabbing me in the groin) my left, however... that's a different story. Blond hair pokes out of the navy blue comforter, and I bite back a groan. Not again.

Maybe if I smother him, he won't wake up... hmmm...

"Sas..."

Too slow. Damn. I put down the pillow and actually move my body in the vicinity of the bathroom, leaving the sleeping figure still snuggled in bed alone, whining, seething with his penguin boxers hung low around those luscious hips. "Sasuke, fooooooooooooooooooodddddd!"

Starting the shower drowns out the little bird yammering someone, and I close my eyes, sighing deeply. Yeah, it's quiet and nice, until the shower curtain is ripped away and Naruto's staring at me with sleepy, bed-mused hair, and frowning. "You know you can't hear me if the shower's running Sasuke, I can't believe you're that _dumb_."

God_dammit._ "That's the fucking point," I growl, and slam the conveniently placed glass door closed on his cute, annoying face. "Go back to bed or something..." But why is there a shower curtain... and a door? The mysteries of life, I guess.

"_Food," _he whimpers, even claws at the door. WHO, in their right mind, whines to their... uh, best friend for food? It's called moving your lazy, stupid ass downstairs before I go Sasuzilla on you!

No, I am not a morning person.

The clawing stopped. Yes. I finish up and step--

right in, er, on the dobe's face, and he has the nerve to squeal like a little girl, arms flailing every which way, and it's quite amusing, but that's beside the point. The _point_ is that he's an idiot, a really really big idiot and I have no clue why I sleep--talk to him.

No clue at all, because the conversations aren't _that_ good.

Wait, yes they are.

Moving on.

"SASUKE, THAT HURT!"

"Your fault, dobe, not mine."

He rubs his cheek, pulls up his too big boxer shorts and growls at me as I slip on my uniform, glaring at him. "Must we go through this every morning? No I will not cook you fucking ramen in the morning, and no, you can't stay home, hurry up." I should add a good insult but I don't want him screeching at me this early, I mean... if you hear him during blowjobs you--

What. The. Hell.

No, we have never had sex, what am I talking--man, need some coffee. Coffee is nature's way of telling you there is a God, and he doesn't totally hate you.

When I turn, I see he's left for the shower, finally, so I decide to be an asshole, and throw his clothes out the window. That's what he gets for pissing me off. I grab my bag, walk down the stairs and snatch a bagel, out the door and around the corner before he shrieks like someone put a dead horse in his closet.

Or threw his clothes out of the window.

Heh.

This is the dysfunctional relationship we have. But wait, it's not really a relationship, we just sort of live together... and snuggle... ew, but I don't _love_ him or anything.

"SASUKE-TEME!"

Time to run, he's catching up and--oh shit, there's smoke coming out of his... feet!

Me and my goddamn bright ideas. But hah, it was so worth it, little shit.

Oh god, what's that in his--

o-o-o

It was a fucking butcher knife. I had to wrestle it away from him for twenty damn minutes.

He told me he hated me, and walked into Konoha High (crafty name, huh) with grass stains and... some sort of purple thing... on his eye that I don't think _I_ gave him. It was funny for everyone, but Gaara.

That kid pisses me off. He stares at Naruto too much. Like some sort of freak.

That eats people.

Not that I care...

...or anything...

He's doing it right now...

Fucking staring...

...I'll give him something stare at, little bastard...

o-o-o

End Prologue.

So yeah, I know Sasuke's OOC and it's short, but it's a tester. I wanted to try my hand at Sasunaru humor, and this is what came out. Give me feed back, or Sasuzilla will eat you!


	2. Of Eyeliner and Flames of Doom

Disclaimer: Not mine, ever and never. Mashashi Kishimoto-san owns my SOUL also.  
Warning: Yaoi. Fluff. Deadpan humor that rots your brain.  
Pairing: SasuNaru mostly. Little tints of GaaNaru. LeeSaku, InoShika, and... maybe some IruKaka for flavor.

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?  
**Chapter One--Of Eyeliner and Flames of Death  
Naruto's POV

o-o-o

My name is Uzumaki Naruto, and I've got the most stubborn boyfriend in the entire world, ever. I mean, we've been together ever since we were twelve, and yet he seems to never want to admit that I'm his little love muffin. I swear, it's what he calls me in bed! The usually stoic Sasuke would throw everyone's idea off when you're alone in a very cozy little bathtub heehee. And I have pictures. Lots and lots. Bwhahah! Well okay, maybe love muffin is going a little too far...because I doubt I'd call someone that either, but you get the point.

Anyway, take this morning for example. He wasn't a very nice boyfriend at all. Kicking me in my face and then, hah, throwing my beloved uniform out the window. So I had to get it in my goddamn boxers! In front of the elderly neighbors who threw their old diet soda cans at me, for whatever reason I don't know.

I was a little upset, but I didn't try to kill him or anything serious like that kukuku...

That brings us to right now... he won't even walk me to class! Just laughing and pushing me outta the way, just so he can be all cool in front of everybody else. God, that pisses me off so bad! Thinks he's so freaking awesome.

"SASUKE-TEME!" Honestly, does he like it when I call him that? He seems to take sick pleasure when I scream my head off, just so he can ignore me like the bastard he is. Ugh.

"Go away dobe."

That's it. It's time to use the thing he hates most...

"But _Sasuke-kun_, don't you wanna kiss your wittle foxy Naruto g'bye?" I even coo with The Eyes. He looks back horrified, and maybe a little bit sweaty.

"Just shut the hell up idiot!" he hisses, everyone's faces trained to ours intently.

"Saaaaaaasukkkke," I grin and rub against him, not missing all the heat coming from the growing crowd, waiting. "I thought you said you _liii_ked when I moaned for you? I think I remember you--"

His hand is really unpleasant on my throat as he drags me away, into the boy's bathroom and slams me into the wall. Ow!

"You little _punk_!"

But he takes my breath away literally, 'cause my lips seem to be on his, and his tongue is pushing its way down my throat, and his hands are hot as they grab me and haul me up on his hips. Faintly, I hear the bell ring, but I don't think he cares much. This is definitely something we shouldn't do... definitely not. I can't help but clutch him closer, though, until he breaks away, laying his forehead against mine. Ewww, it's all sweaty! He must have some weird sweating disease or something.

I smile despite the sweat of doom, and he smiles, and I giggle, and he chuckles. Until I frown, and he glares.

"That wasn't funny, _Naruchan_," he says mockingly, though it makes my heart ache, so I kiss him again, chastely on the lips. I'm let down, but his hand is still possessively on my hip.

"Pfft, maybe you won't ignore me anymore. I hope I'm not just a plaything to the all mighty Uchiha Sasuke? Am I Sasuke?"

He grins that naughty grin that only _I_ get to see and pushes our bodies closer, if humanly possible. "And if you are? Besides, I think you like it." He licks my ear, but it doesn't really feel good, just kinda slimy. Like him.

"Sasuke! Be serious or I'll have to beat you..."

He pulls away completely, staring at me with that horrible indifference of his. "I don't know. Let's go to class."

Asshole. That's his excuse for everything. _Sasuke do you loooove me? _Let's to class. _Sasuuuuke will you give me head? _Let's go to class. _Sasuke I've got to peeeee!_ Let's go to class, idiot. IDIOT!

It's his solution to _EVERYTHING_!

"Fine."

We're at least twenty minutes late, but considering the teacher, it won't be a problem. Kakashi-sensei... to put it simply, misses half our classes anyway. But when he's actually there, woo boy, we're worked like dogs in heat.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun!" the girls all sing with annoyingly off tune voices. He barely grunts in acknowledgment, sitting down beside me. Gaara, who conveniently sits on my other side, turns his head and kinda... looks at me. I smile back, he blushes. Gaara's weird.

Now Sasuke's staring at Gaara... with evil eyes...

Man... Sasuke doesn't like Gaara. I wonder why? He's such a _nice _guy! Well once you get to know him at least.

"Why don't you gorge your eyes out, Gaara, because they're starting to drill a hole through Naruto's head."

"Why don't you blow me, Uchiha." Dude, Gaara is so cool.

But no! Sasuke is not to be outdone by some mere freak-of-nature! He must use his torturing powers of doom against the unsuspecting victim. Well Gaara is honestly equally torturous... so who knows.

"Secret fantasy? Sorry, I don't do requests."

Everyone collectively gasps. Gaara moves to stand, but thankfully, yours truly gets between him and Sasuke's mouthy ass face, holding back his fist with what I hope is a succulently deceiving smile just as Kakashi-sensei himself rolls in the room.

"Yo."

He waves and sits down, and starts reading his normal porn. I slink back down in my seat, and get the two peacocks to do the same. He reads only one thing. I think it's the only thing he's _ever_ read.

Itcha Itcha Paradise is a wonderfully perverted book. It's seriously fucked up. He let me borrow it one day (well I sort of stole it while he was eating lunch in the bushes)... and oh man, let's just say me and Sasuke found some sick position to uh, try out for later. Heh.

"Good morning Kakashi-sensei," is the collective and quiet, dull response.

Sasuke is glaring at me. I can feel the heat from a mile away, and I'm starting to worry that my face will randomly set on fire or something ghastly like that. Oh no!

On another thought... Gaara has pretty hair...

"Oi! Naruto are you paying attention!" Kakashi mumbles in his monotone voice, narrowing his lone eye at me.

"But... you're not doing anything?" I reply innocently, hoping... just hoping he _was_ only doing uh, nothing.

"Very good. It's nice to be awake, isn't it? Hah," and he scribbles a few assignments on the board before his nose is right back in his book.

"Na... Naruto-kun," Gaara whispers. There's that strange heat again...

Aw, he gave my name a 'kun!' Gyaa! That's so cool!

"What, Gaara-san?"

"Who are you going with to this 'formal' I keep hearing about?"

Formal! Heh heh heh...

"I don't know, Gaara-san," I draw, loving the fire erupting in onyx eyes to my left. I don't care if I can't see it. Oh, it's there. Kukuku, don't piss me off Uchiha bastard. "I'm not really dating anyone right now, I guess."

FUCK the paper exploded in vicious yellow flames! On _my_ desk. And then it seems like everyone's desks are on fire.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI GAAAAH PUT IT OUT! What the FUCK!" Every one screams dramatically. I mean, c'mon... a little fire never killed anyone.

Kakashi's whole arm is engulfed in flame and he's ... COMING CLOSER AHHH!

Thankfully, Gaara is a trained fireman. Of course. He sacrafices his own body and puts mine out. With minor burns, of course. Sasuke just pushes me out of the way. How daring of him. Tch. Jerk.

"Okay, yeah... that was a, ah, bit random, ne?" Kakashi daringly put his hand on Gaara's shoulder, beathing out a lazy sigh of relief. "I, uh, think this little incident merits a day off, eh?" He says that for everything. But I guess no one should really complain.

The doorway is really too small for a whole class to bustle through, they should really get that looked at, hah. It's only like, every other day that Kakashi does something so cool like thus. Ew, I just said he was cool.

A hand yanks mine, and pulls me into the hall. Sasuke is staring at me with angry, slightly lustful (okay not really) eyes.

"You piss--"

"Sasuke-kun! ...Naruto, why are you two in the hallway?"

Sakura hops up to us with a sandwich in her hand, which she quickly hides with a blush. "It's my lunch period, but what are you up to?"

So... yeah, she's really talking to Sasuke. Notice the 'you' in the sentence. Even though she has a FUCKING boyfriend. Rock Lee, maybe you've heard of him. Freak of nature...

And well, it's not just Sakura, actually, every girl goes after Sasuke, married with children or not. Pregnant, poor... etc.

Feh. I hate women.

Fickle creatures. Really.

"Go away," Sasuke mumbles and pulls me along, leaving her in our DUST oh yeah!

"'Kay, have a lovely morning Sasuke-kun!" Her face falls as I stick out my tongue, grinning. We turn a corner and I'm pushed into total darkness.

NOT THE CLOSET. It's dark. And I think there's some sort of dead animal spread across the floor, because it smells terrible. Sasuke's hand goes to my cheek, nails digging in slightly. Not enough to hurt, maybe it's just because he's shaking... shaking?

"Now, that little stunt you pulled? Explain," he deadpans.

I roll my eyes. "Well we're not together, I can date who I want!"

Sasuke's eyes are sort of glowing... Like that can scare me, Uzumaki Naruto!

"And you pick that fucking... that fucking sand freak!"

Hey, Gaara's not that bad... "Fuck you Uchiha--"

"I don't think so. If you touch him, you're not sleeping in my bed."

GAH! Noo... my bed, it's... well, see...

It's trying to kill me.

And... Sasuke told me that a missing nin, AKA his long lost brother was out for my blood. Do I believe him, why yes, yes I do. Why? Because I know Sasuke.

"Whatever, but if you're so goddamn 'straight', no more sex." Oh this'll be sweet. Sasuke without sex? Bwhahah! Can't go a day! Well okay, we've never actually done "it" but we've definitely had a little fun down under, if you ask me.

"Done." He smirks.

SAY WHAT!

o-o-o

TBC...

Hopefully, you'll get a bit of past in the next chapter. Like why they're living together...

CAN SASUKE LAST!

Find out...

But you have to review first...

Bwhahah!


	3. Gaara Hates You

Disclaimer:Not mine, ever and never. Mashashi Kishimoto-san owns my SOUL also.  
Warning: Shonen ai, fluff and deadpan humor that will rot the hell outta your brain.  
Pairing: Sasunaru; Gaa/Naru, Ino/Shika, Lee/Saku, Kakairu

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?  
**Chapter Two--Gaara Hates You  
Gaara's POV

o-o-o

As a boy, I wasn't quite what you'd call, ..."sane". When the other children in Suna wanted my assistance in play time, I would glare and throw my toy sword at them in hopes they would die. My only true companion was the sand, so soft and understanding. It captured my attention for hours, when my mother (rest her soul) would have to pull me away, all the while me kicking the hell out of her leg. Sand is something you can manipulate, and use for your own gain. Something I mastered, and would put to use.

When I transfered a couple months ago to the Hidden Leaf village, it was not my finest moment. Temari is still recovering... but, after having to leave my beautiful sand behind, I found a new interest. And a new rival I wanted _dead_.

Uzumaki Naruto is the only one that has ever gotten my smile to break through to my eyes.

Consequently, his..._ friend_ (I say the word loosely), Uchiha Sasuke is the only one I have ever truly tried to strangle with my own pocket lint.

I hate him with every thing in my being. On a daily basis I have overwhelming urges to rip his head off and serve it to Kankuro on a silver platter. Why do I hate him so? Why is he the _bane_ of my existence?

It all started the first day I arrived...

o-o-o

Fucking gay piece of shit dumbass god damed son of a bitch---

"Ga--Gaara-sah-san, would you please quiet--AH OH GOD HE'S STRUGGLING! HE BROKE THE ROPES!"

Temari screams, and it's the only thing I hear as my arm shoots out, wrapping around someone's neck.

The car crashes.

-

I'm strapped down again. And made to apologize for snapping Temari's arm, and dislocating her shoulder. I was actually going for Kankuro, who was in the driver's seat, but he pulled her in front of him like the coward he is. They even gagged me. Tch. Like I can't get out...

My mother ran off to get married in the States, I have no father, and our guardian hates us. I'm being _forced_ to move to some shitty Leaf village. Excuse me if I don't take too kindly to it.

"This won't be so bad Gaara, look we're already here!" Temari groaned, somehow enthusiastically after our quick little trip to the hospital. Heh.

Our house looks like shit.

The grass is fucking brown. There's a kiddy swimming pool in our yard. With a hole in it. Ahh, it feels good to be poor. The house has one window, right in the middle, and the glass is completely smashed out. My hand must have twitched, because Temari raced down the street, before coming back ten minutes later.

I try the knob but it falls off. Hmmm. I just punch the door, but I don't expect it to start coming toward me...

Fuck you door. It's laying in splinters by my side in a few seconds. Kankuro whimpers like a girl. "Gah... uhm, Gaara-sama, why don't we just look--"

"Ahahahaahahaha," someone shrieks behind us, and my murderous eyes land on a skinny, tall looking black haired kid smirking at me like the goddamn circus is in town. "What a freak! Hah, nice house."

Oh fuck. How DARE he? It looks like Temari's not the only one I'm gonna put in the hospital this _fine _day. Raising my fist, I saunter over, glaring hopefully hard enough that his head will set on fire. He's a little bit taller than me, maybe an inch or so, and I almost get my hand to go through his skull.

But I stop when a little shriek, not Temari, who's doing fucking NOTHING to help me, comes from his left. I blink, and some blond kid pops out, screaming and standing between us.

"Hey, hey, hey, you can't do that! But Sasuke, you should apologize since you started it!"

Hmph.

This... Sasuke looks scandalized. "What the hell? I don't think so. This kid's a freak, Naruto. I'm just doing my worldly job, anyway. And _he_ should apologize!"

I growl low in my throat, and he seems oh so close, especially the blond boy, who's now crushed to my stomach. I must say he's not that bad to look at, small frame and bright blue eyes. Strange whisker marks on his cheeks. Cute. I lift his chin slowly watching for signs of fear. None.

"What's your name?" I whisper.

"Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto," he says proudly. I like that.

But... _Sasuke_ doesn't. He pushes Naruto away, glaring at me. "Don't fucking _touch_ him!"

"And that," Naruto draws and points a finger to the fuck wit, "is Uchiha Sasuke. Otherwise known as the ice bitch."

Sasuke growls distantly. I shrug, and turn around. "Jealous?" I hiss as I ascend the steps to my... new home. The gutter half falls on me as I enter through the door way.

I hear a small, "Nice to, erm, meet you Gaara-san!" before the two are scrabbling down the street. Grinning slightly, Kankuro pokes me on the back.

"Well aren't _you_ happy, Gaara!"

A glare, and he's pissing himself to get up the creaky old steps. Heh. When will they learn that I'm not **always** planning their deaths?

But from this day forward, Uchiha Sasuke is my sworn rival...

Who I will _kill._

o-o-o

From then on he would egg my house, rig my porch to collapse at will, _cut_ my hair (I'll never forgive him for that one), put laxatives in my coffee, glue my ass to my desk... etc...

But I always have my revenge.

And its name is Naruto.

Little things, like small embraces in front of the smug Uchiha, smiles directed toward the boy, sometimes if I'm bold enough, friendly kisses on cute whiskered cheeks, and _flirting_. Naruto just keeps that innocent act up, grinning always. _Always._

Right now I'm at lunch, and of course I sit with Temari and Kankuro. Naruto sits with that lazy boy, the blonde... _loud_ girl, **him **and the Hyuuga children. Also... some fat kid... I have yet to learn his name.

I will try and sort out all their relationships, out of the goodness of my heart. Ino and Shikamaru are going out, but they just do it because they're popular. Ino sort of likes the Uchiha. The Hyuuga female crushes on Naruto, while the Hyuuga male likes... ulk, Sasuke. Yet they respect and despise each other. They're all quite oblivious, and strangely polite. Except the Uchiha bastard.

Biting into my sandwich viciously, and taking a sip of my... ugh, _Juicy Juice_, I groan. "Stupid peanut butter." I turn to glare at Temari. "_You_... if you pack me this disgusting crap again I'll _kill_ you."

She nods with an apologetic smile. Am I losing my touch? Kankuro whimpers as my stare is directed to him. He cries out and excuses himself. There's something wet on the seat. Ew.

Naruto just shrieked, and smacked the Uchiha, while glaring intensely at him. Hmmm...

"WHAT DID I SAY IN THE CLOSET!"

"Stop being so loud, Naruto!" Ino groans, quickly returning to her diet coke and rabbit food.

_Closet_? ...

He sits himself between the Hyuugas. Sasuke is blushing...

Something strange is going on. Uchiha bastard never blushes.

I can't hear. There's a garbage can so very conveniently placed beside their table. Sweet. I ball up my shitty lunch and slowly walk over. Uchiha is staring at me while he talks. "My hand was just going for my fork that fell, settle down!"

And pigs have bow ties and can pilot air planes with a GED... cough bullshit cough.

Naruto grins smugly. "Nu uh, I know what you were going for! I told you Sasuke-teme!"

I like his taste in nicknames.

Hinata pokes her food, biting her lip. "What's wrong Naruto-kun?"

"SASUKE'S A PERVERT!"

Sasuke pushes the chair out from under him, and pulls Naruto up by the collar. I should really go, as now that the left over jelly leaking off the bag is staining my hands and getting on my shirt.

Oh well.

"Say that again, _dobe_."

He happily repeats it, loud enough for the world to hear.

"I said you're a pervert and--"

Sasuke drags a still babbling Naruto away.

He does that a lot.

I think I should follow. You know, in case Sasuke can't control his gay urges and he takes it out on what's mine. Yes that's right, MINE. Not yours. MINE.

Ahem. Detective Gaara... I like the sound of that.

o-o-o

Sigh. This will be the last update 'till I think the end of May. I'm real sorry, but since I'm on spring break, I can write. It's almost over though, which sucks. I'll have to worry about tests come Tuesday.

But you never know, miracles might happen. :D

Did I mention Gaara is the coolest, ever? Well he is. And yes, he is a force to be reckoned with. Temari and Kankuro are proof of that.


	4. Block the Fire Escape

Disclaimer:Not mine, ever and never. Mashashi Kishimoto-san owns my SOUL also.  
Warning: Shonen ai, fluff and deadpan humor that will rot the hell outta your brain.  
Pairing: Sasunaru; Neji/Gaa/Naru, Ino/Shika, Lee/Saku, Kakairu

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?**  
Chapter Three--Block the Fire Escape  
Sasuke's POV

o-o-o

Uchiha Sasuke requires nothing to survive, no one to help him, and doesn't succumb to any usual need. Like sex.

I've never really been too bothered about it...

Okay. So yeah, lie. It's only been forty eight hours and I'm crawling off the walls, the minutes ticking away like a clock is embroidered in my brain. And dragging Naruto in the bathroom wasn't my best idea, let me tell you. Once we got there he smirked and kicked me in the balls, shaking his ass right in front of my fucking face. That was low. He's staying at Sakura's... who he hates. He'll probably be crawling back in the next couple minutes...

Yeah, anytime now... any time.

Fucker.

I'm not going to give up, I'm an Uchiha. Uchiha don't have a single crack in their masks. Ask Itachi, that flaming homo. I'm glad I scared Naruto so that they will _never_ meet.

Not because Itachi is dangerous... well, that's what I told Naruto... but Itachi is a little... how do I want to explain this, **out there.** Yeah, that's it. I live alone simply because of my embarrassment of him.

It all started when we were children...

-

"Aniki where's my - why are there... what are you doing playing with those?"

"Sa... SASUKE GET OUT!"

"Why are you wearing a dress and make up Aniki? Is that part - "

"Get out!"

"But Aniki..."

"I SAID GET OUT DAMN YOU!"

"ANIKI -"

-

That was all I could utter before he threw an eye brow pencil at me, resulting in a horrible accident that followed that will not be spoken of...

There it was. My first clue at such an innocent age that my brother was... "different".

When I was a little older, Itachi invited one of his "friends" over... needless to say, it didn't go very well.

-

"Hey Sasuke come meet Oro..."

"Oro? What the hell kind of name is that?"

"Well, his full name is Orochimaru."

"Why does he look like a child moles - er snake..."

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO QUESTION EVERYTHING, JESUS!"

"Hi Sasuke... I've heard _so_ much about you..."

"Quit touching me..."

Smack. "Ow! Aniki!"

"Oh... what am I going to do with you Sa - "

"Fuck him."

"What! Where did you find this guy Aniki?"

"...uhm, get in the car, Sasuke."

"NO."

"_Saaas_uke..."

"Ew. Ah get him off - "

-

I'd rather not remember the rest. But that was the first time I figured out that my brother was really, _really_ weird. Not just clinically insane. And coincidentally, it was also the first time I realized that you could punch someone in the face and they would still enjoy it. Sick but true.

"Sasuke?"

I must have been glaring at Naruto too long who moved up a few seats to avoid me at the begining of class, that I didn't notice Neji (that weirdo) poking my side with a pencil. I feel the sticky substance on my shirt and clench my teeth. Is it me, or is everyone in this school mentally retarded? I'm going to have to say a yes to that.

"What?" I grit out, doing my best to be intimidating and menacing, which pretty much doesn't have an affect on Neji. He's like a brick wall everyone likes to fuck with. But the thing about messing with him, he'll get you back.

"I notice you don't sit with Naruto anymore... " he questions softly, eyeing me.

Hm.

"Yeah, so?"

He opens and closes his mouth a couple times, teeth clamping down on his bottom lip. "Well, are you two broken up- "

"We were never together Hyuuga! I'm," quieter, "not gay..."

Neji mutters something that could have been either, "could have proved me wrong", or "I really wanted that thong". I'm going to go out on a limb here, and choose the latter. Because I am definitely not flamboyant gay like some people.

Shooting another glance at Naruto, I swallow thickly. Gaara's greasy, sickly pale hand is hovering too close to the edge of his desk, like he wants to _touch_ my prop - Naruto. He's glad he hasn't, because... wait - why am I acting like this? I'm Sasuke fucking Uchiha. Girls and boy's swoon alike for my sexy face and taunt body.

Ahh! I swear to god, Gaara just smiled at him. One of those 'I love you and I think you're special please look at me' smiles. ... Going to kill him, going to murder his whole family, going to shove their bodies under the floor board and then they'll learn that Uchiha's mean business.

All conversation, well, attempts there of, are ceased as the shrill bell resounds in my ears, making my eyebrows reach my hair line. Frowning, I whip out my ipod and hook up my head phones, flipping to something stand-able as I roam through the halls, alone. Without that idiot by my side to annoy me. The Cure is the first thing that plays, smashing into my brain. I wince but smile, our song playing... how fucking gay is that, which I am not.

Thank god schools over.

But now I've got to go home to a quiet house. Not that I mind, but... It always takes me back to the day he moved in with me. Funny how silence does that to you...

-

You're twelve years of age, he's just a little younger.

Smiling blue eyes and a sparking smile. All talk and no bite. You frown and glare at the shorter boy, mocking his happy facade, muttering a quick, "upstairs," before following him, and praying he doesn't stumble upon anything valuable.

His parents abandoned him, and that left you. The "best friend". Please. You barely knew him in elementary.

Definitely not happy in the first place, and having to accommodate some loser that (you've only been lusting after half a month) is supposedly your 'best/only' friend.

"OH MY GOD, IS THIS _MY_ ROOM?"

Your ear drums shatter, a hand going up to your ear. Though, even though you're angry, the wonder in his voice twists at your heart, just a little.You squint your eyes at him, hoping he gets the message that you definitely DIDN'T appreciate that. "The fuck," you hiss, bearing your teeth to his smiling face..

He just grins like the dobe he is and shrugs, bouncing up and down on _your_ bed, giggling slightly.

"This would be **my **room, there skippy."

He pouts, getting down to look around. Your eyes lock with his hands as they ghost across your desk, his face deep in concentration. He picks up a few cds, face blanching. "Ew."

You grit your teeth, walking over and ripping them from his hands. "Don't touch those, they'll get aids or something."

He shoots you a slightly devious look and slips your most prized possession, your From First To Last autographed, a la Sonny Moore, copy of Dear Diary down his pants. Shock, then overwhelming anger, as he dances around, sticking out his tongue at you and shaking his dick. Your hands reach out, and your body moves, but you trip and fall into him, knocking the wind out of both of you.

"Well," he groans, "at least I didn't crack your -"

The shrill crunch follows his sentence. You can hear every single snap of the cd case, and cock your jaw, glaring down at him. "_You better fucking run_!"

-

That memory pisses me off, more than consoles me. I think I beat his ass so hard he couldn't see straight, and limped to school. We've had plenty more arguments where that came from, anyway.

Pulling into the drive way, I sigh, and turn off the engine, just sitting here. My eyes fall shut, and I flip on the radio, biting my lip at the soft tune. I had long since abandoned my ipod.

Maybe I am... gay. Fuck, the word sticks in my throat, makes me sweat all over.

Everything is serene... quiet... peacefull...

Until something smacks against the window, causing a shiver to course through my body. I groan, and get out, picking up the little thing, only to find out it's a...

Condom?

Is someone up there punishing me, because I'M NOT HAVING A VERY FUN FUCKING TIME!

I look over, and see Naruto's neutral face. Was it him? It had to be. What the hell, I thought he was spending time at Sakura's?

He slinks over and takes my hand, bringing it to his cheek, leaning in close. I think my heart stops a beat when he whispers,

"Need you. Now."

and crushes our lips together.

I smirk, pocketing the condom and dragging him inside.

An Uchiha always wins.

o-o-o

TBC...

Sorry for the long wait, I kind of hit a brick wall with my writing. Or Neji. Haha.

And for those of you still caught up in the Sasuke OOCness. Picture this. His family isn't dead, but his brother is a freak. I think there would be a considerably different outlook on life, don't you? I mean, come on people.

Kthx. Tell me what you think!


	5. Sasuke'sOnMy Listof Things ToDo

Disclaimer: Not mine, ever and never. Mashashi Kishimoto-san owns my SOUL also.  
Warning: Shonen ai, fluff and deadpan humor that will rot the hell outta your brain.  
Pairings: Sasunaru; Neji/Gaa/Naru, Ino/Shika, Lee/Saku, Kakairu

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?**  
Chapter Four--Sasuke's On My List of Things to Do Today  
Naruto's POV

o-o-o

...What?

Don't look at me like that. I couldn't stand it. Being away from Sasuke is like being away from your mentally abusing, yet lovably drunk father. You just can't do it. Especially when the sex is good. But not incestous... er okay, not a very good analogy, whatever. Hahah I sound like Sourpuss, I mean Sasuke.

And then I had Sakura and Lee to deal with. How fun was that? Not very fun, thanks. All they did was make out and ask me what I was doing under their couch. I was hiding from the shear terror that is Rock Lee's hand as it's going up Sakura's shirt. His face really needs to... um, change? Yeah. Not a pretty site in the midst of passion. Oh god... Ew.

Sasuke's face, however.

Mmmmmm. Sasuke.

But back to what happened. My original plan wasn't to maul Sasuke like that... but on the way home, er Sasuke's house, I ran into a certain red headed psycho path...

-

Smiling slightly, because the sun was oh so bright and cheerful looking up in the sky this day, I move to open the door, barely escaping the disgusting heterosexual kissy noises that are coming from the living room. It sounds disturbingly like if a bear and a hyena fucked...

Mwha. Or Sakura and Lee. I swear. Staying there was like staying in the farthest pits of Hell. And Sakura's all, "Oh my god, I love you Sasuke, babies now?..." to his _face_ but in private, she's like, "Lee-_chan_! You're so cu-te!"

Um, ew.

I'm not going to beg Sasuke or anything, nor am I going to give in. I'm just going to say, "listen bitch, move your fat ass." And that'll be that. Yep. Sasuke will be too shocked to _sex me up_ and I'll just walk right in and lock him out of 'our' room. My idea is so completely ingenious, that I almost end up walking straight into Gaara that I'm so engrossed. Luckily, my Naruto-Sense kicks in, and I do a supper cool ninja move to dodge him.

Which ends with me stumbling into a stupid fucking bush.

Damn you bush. I will have re-

"Hey... Naruto."

Aw, Gaara's so adorable when he tries to smile. Try being the keyword there. You'd think it would be really pretty considering how soft spoken he is, and shy. But it's like a kid with one of those old timey head set kind of braces that has globes of bananas stuck in their teeth. A little painful, but he gets a bowel of Raman for attempting!

His pale (oh my god, he's like a vampire now that I think about it!) hand reaches out, and I take it, his deceptive strength playing a part of setting me back on my feet.

"D'you think, maybe you want to go catch a movie Friday?" he half mutters, his eyes anywhere but my face. He's so different than Sasuke. Perhaps it's why I'm drawn to him? That, or he's so sweet he gives me cavites.

I grin, and pretend to think about it for a few minutes, y'know, just to let him sweat it out. I nod slowly, before I truthfully realize what Gaara's just asked me.

A date?

Okay, I like him... but I don't want to lead him on...

But I _do_ want to hurt Sasuke.

Although going through Gaara isn't the best of ideas. And Sasuke isn't even going to see.

But...

Gaara's hot. Not like Sasuke hot, more like... Neji hot. He's not completely popular, and his attitude isn't what you'd go for, but deep down you know he's got something. Though Neji would _never_ hear me call him hot. Gross.

Mmm.

So perhaps a free meal and some innocent kissing. Sounds like a plan.

"Yeah," I whisper finally, his eyes sparking from simply leaf green to an over powering emerald. It makes my heart want to stop, and that scares the shit out of me. Because...

Because Sasuke is the only one that's ever made that happen.

Granted, the circumstances were a hell of a lot different.

He steps a bit closer, the eyeliner around his eyes standing out more than anything. I smile and place a hand on his shoulder. "Call me?" To my surprise, he leans in a little, and it makes me jump up, our lips connecting slightly, but enough that I want more and draw him down again after he breaks away.

Gaara has a delicious taste. Like fresh apples and fruit juice, strangely, and his mouth opens for my probing tongue, our faces trying to consume one another completely as our frantic kisses grow desperate. I really don't know who Gaara's been kissing, but it's got to be somebody because_ fuck_ it's so good.

We come apart, and I frown, wanting more, and not below shamelessly mewling for it. He smiles that sexy, sly smile of his and steps back, leaving me aching. His gorgeous lips are beside my ear, breath hot enough that I shiver when he speaks again. Though the words are sadly disconcerting. "I saw you in the bathroom... with _him_... are you -"

"Are you stalking me?" I hiss, pushing him away gently. This is kind of weird...

He looks completely out of his element, which makes me feel bad, as his voice wavers with the next sentence. "N.. No, it's not like that Naruto. I saw you two go to the bathroom, and he seemed so aggressive... that I -"

"Oh," I sigh, a breathless laugh escaping, because the memory gives me giggles. Sasuke deserved it! "That's cool then. You just kinda freaked me out. But we're not together, or anything..."

"Ah. Sorry, then. I didn't mean to..."

"No, no it's okay. Hope I didn't scare you, um, 'cause I like you Gaara..."

Fuck me (please), but I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks like a third grader in love. Or an inexperienced whore in lust, but that's my own analogy.

Gaara sort of half smiles, half sighs, and backs up. "I like.. you too. Well, I've got to go... I was supposed to be at my psychiatrists thirty minutes ago." He smirks when he continues, "But this was _way _better."

"See you Friday, " I squeal slightly, and no I couldn't help it because Gaara took my arm and scribbled his number on it, indicating for me to do the same to him. And I did.

I couldn't stop the sappy grin on my face as we departed from each other.

But unbearably **raw **lust eats at me, and I haven't gotten laid in so long that it's time to...

Let the stupid, fat ass Uchiha win.

-

So now I'm up against Sasuke's car, him biting my neck and his leg between my own, rubbing and massaging and just - driving me fucking _crazy_.

If I could talk, man he would be so bitched out right now. Because I hate being treated like some piece of flesh to be molded into submission. But gah, he just licked my Adam's apple, slowly, and bit down, smirking against my flesh.

Growling, and in the mood to be completely tempting, I slowly whisper against his cheek, "Gaara asked me out today..." in the softest, sexiest voice I can muster while trying to sound casual at the same time. I turn just in time to see his eyes flash like a light, his hands tightening on my ass.

"And?"

I gasp in surprise, dammit, and the sound is a dead give away. Sasuke smirks that arrogant, saucy smirk, and picks me up bodily, heading for the front door. "It won't work Naruto. You know you'll just come back to me, like _now_."

I growl in response, biting his ear. He's lucky I'm so damn horny from Gaara, or I'd fuck him up. I allow him to carry me upstairs and throw me on the bed. I'm a sucker for the rough stuff, myself.

And this is where he takes me until I threaten certain areas bodily harm.

Isn't life grand?

-

"That hurt, teme," I murmur sleepily against his chest, smiling with shattered tenderness. It isn't always like this after sex. Usually he pushes me off onto the floor, and grumpily falls asleep. This time, his arm is securely around me, and we're actually basking in the afterglow.

It gives me a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

His fingers ghost over my shoulder, his mouth slightly ajar, eyes unfocused. I giggle, and he looks down at me with a silent glare, but doesn't say anything. My hand flicks his nipple gently. He scratches his forehead sleepily.

"You're not going Friday," he says solidly, nails scraping deliciously at the nape of my neck. I purr lowly until he stops, smug as the cat that caught the canary. Bastard!

"Uhm, _yeah_. I am, Sasuke - teme!"

His nipple looks so tempting while I eye it... yummy. Sasuke's body is so...

"No. You're staying here with me, and we're doing a repeat performance of today. Hah, and it's only six-thirty." He draws his voice suddenly, deep and completely seductive. "_Think_ of the possibilities..."

He's so frustrating!

But that _does_ sound awfully nice... maybe a Sasuke dinner, and a Sasuke desert... and then a Sasuke midnight snack! Yes, oh fuck yes...

But Gaara...?

Dear sweet Gaara, he's licking the shell of my ear. God, he's so fast. I'm on my back and he's over me a second after. I like it, though, because his eyes aren't cold and untouchable like this... they're soft almost, and beautiful.

**Only for me.**

_Only for you._

'Course, I'd never tell 'em that, but you know.

Ah! "Sa..."

His hair is tickling my nose, a groan slipping through my lips like water. He's everywhere at once it seems, kissing me, loving me. He's tender, probably only this time to persuade me, and fuck, it's working.

And I hate that. He's not... not even serious. He doesn't care about anyone. Why should he care about me?

"Sasu - Sasuke, stop."

"You don't sound very convincing, dobe."

"Mm. But I am." I smile, a slow tear treading down my face. At that he does get off me, confused, maybe a little scared.

He voice is calm, but underneath it feels frantic to me. "Did I hurt you? We've done this a_ frickin million_ time's before..."

"Not this," I whisper, turning on my side. "Stop being an asshole. I thought you weren't gay?"

At that, a blush creeps on his pale face, accenting it. I would tease him if I wasn't so pissed off.

He gets up, moving for the bathroom. When he reaches the door, he faces me, snarling, "Fuck you, Naruto," before going in. Instead of responding, I grab my clothes, nearly tripping over his many belts in the process and hightail it out of there.

Where am I going to go now?

I don't even know where Gaara lives.

Sakura is in her mating thing... whatev. You know what I'm talking about.

I know where Ino lives, but she would side with Sasuke... we're not even fighting, but at the mention of Sasuke she goes off, so I know if I was to say, "Hey Ino can I stay her Sasuke is being a fuckwit - "

She'd beat me, and then leave my broken, battered body for her pet Tasmanian Devil, Sparky. Sparky is a fucker.

Shikamaru is too lazy. He wouldn't open the door.

Hm, they're a weird couple anyway.

Kakashi?

Iruka?

But they live together, and ew. All they do is have sex...

Okay, so maybe that's all me and Sasuke used to do, but they're old.

Hinata would let me stay. But that bastard Neji... I know how he looks at me. Like he wants to nail my head to a board at chop off my dick. All 'cause he has a crush on Sasuke, even though he'd **never** admit it. And Hinata has a crush on _me_ so that's not the best of ideas, even if she wouldn't try anything. Can never be too carefull... the quiet ones are always the hidden rapists in disguise!

Y'know, Gaara and Neji would make a supper cute couple, no matter how much I despise Neji. (FUCKING BURN IN HELL STUPIDEYEBOY!) But that's not the point.

Anyway, I've just wasted ten minutes thinking of a place to stay, in the middle of the road. A man is coming out of his car... closer, SHIT!

He picks me up, and throws me onto the grass of Sasuke's very house, and the bastard is laughing his ass off at the doorway. The other people behind the asshole that pitched me cheer happily, driving by with glee, and flicking me off while beeping their fucking horns in the process.

I look back at Sasuke, who glares and slams the door shut behind him.

_BASTARD_!

"This Sasuke's house?" a gruff voice asks above me, and I look up into ruby eyes.

Oh... my god.

-

TBC...

Yay! Long chapter. For me, at least. Let say, EFF YOU FF DOT NET. K.

And this might be weird, but the inspiration to write this was Adam's Sandler's crappy music. It just made me think of Naruto. And I giggled all through this.

For those of you that want Itachi in the story... you'll get your wish: but I'unno when... so bare with me. Who knows, maybe he's already IN the story and you just missed it! Maybe if you _REVIEW_ I might tell you (hinthint). Like, say, a hundred? That sounds nice.

Also, if anyone has some good Sasunaru doujinshi...?

Until next time. And yes, there will actually be plot this time! -gasp-


	6. In Which There Is A Date

Disclaimer: Nope, not _yet_.  
Warning: Obnoxious yaoi EVERYWHERE. Oh, and some het. But mostly obnoxious yaoi. -cheers-  
Pairings: Main SasuNaru, GaaNaru. Minor KakaIru, LeeSaku, ShikaIno, KibaShino, NejiSasuHina.

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?  
**Chapter Five: In Which There Is A Date  
Gaara's POV

o-o-o

Twenty-two hours, ten minutes and thirty-seven seconds until I meet him, for our date.

**Date.**

Me, not Uchiha.

_Me._

Twenty-two hours, nine minutes and forty-five seconds... counting. Looking out of the dirty glass window, the moon is still high up in the sky, glaring down at me with vengeance. "Fuck you moon," I whisper, wincing as my eyes twitch. The permanent Kohl wrapped around them itches.

Enough to make me want to kill someone.

I've got a few in mind. No one _particular._

God, three, ten... where was I? Dammit. I lost track again...

The clouds remind me of Naruto. Everything reminds me of Naruto. The next time I close my eyes, images of that disgusting Uchiha and Naruto, _together. _It makes my fists clench, my blood boil. **Nothing happened**, but fuck, I knew the Uchiha was planning something. I could feel it.

When I saw that fucker kiss him, I wanted to run over and beat his balls until they looked like Kankuro's face.

Yeah.

Sleeping, is irrelevant. You know what happens when you sleep? You _die_. The shadows stop plotting to kill you and make good on their threats. They form things...

I sneak a glance at the bat placed beside my futon, clenching my fists. I'll be ready. The demons won't destroy me, not if I have something to fight them with. How do people stay away from such darkness? They're so pathetically vulnerable when they sleep.

So human.

Bla. Getting up, I make my way down our crappy creaky stairs, sadly missing the last step, and catch the rail before I fall. Unfortunately, the rail is old and breaks off, taking half the fucking wall with it and smacking me in the face as I plummet to my doom.

Before I pass out, I hear a shaky, "Well... that's the _third _time. Hm."

I will get my...

-

I hate the term waking up. Because I never do. So let's say, I back to reality from passing out, realizing that yes, I'm still fucking laying at the bottom of the stairs, no one even bothering to move the damn rail off my aching body. There's going to be hell for this. HELL I say!

A silent groan passes through my lips, and I elbow the stupid thing away, not missing the loud '_clank'_ sound, because when I fell, it took a good chunk of plaster with it.

At least it's morning. I pad my way into the box we call a bathroom, assessing the damage. Nothing visible. Reaching behind my head, sticky coating covers my neck. Blood. I flick it off my fingers, slightly concerned that it's sti -

-

God_dammit_.

Fainting was NOT on my list to do today.

And I missed school.

Naruto probably thinks I won't come tomorrow which will end up in him not showing up for our date and me having to fuck someone up and -

The door bell rings. It sounds eerie.

They're going to see my head bandaged... Temari did a horrible job. But my hair is naturally red, so you can't tell the difference... maybe I should take it off.

I'm going to look like a freak. Hn.

Oh well.

We don't even have a damn peephole. I could be opening the door to the face of a rabid serial killer. They'd like that, wouldn't they? Instead of some pedo - rapist, it's Naruto. Hm.

...NARUTO!

No, I didn't scream that. Not even in my head, just, you know. I'm a mess.

He smiles and holds out some sort of card - type creation. What am I expected to do? I go with the safe option. I stare.

"Do you want to come in?"

He looks confused. I slowly reach out and take the card, noting that it's _wet_...

Now he seems appeased. Good.

"You weren't at school today, I noticed." His foot footfall into my _lovely _home causes the carpet to stick to his sandal, and as we walk, the whole floor is pulled up. The wood is kind of ugly. But the carpet was worse, so really, he did us a favor.

"Yeah," I mutter, ushering him into the kitchen. "I had an _accident_ last night..."

He hasn't seen my head - wrap until now. His eyes widen. "My god, Gaara. Who did that? It looks like someone took a bad, stuffed it with barbed wire, and then ground it down until it could - "

"I get the point, Naruto."

"Ah."

Does it _really_ look that bad?

"Hungry?" I whisper, but then realize a little too late that we have no food. I poke my hip bone dejectedly. That means grocery shopping. Woo. Maybe I can sucker Naruto into going with me... so I can stare at his **nicceee **ass.

To my relief he shakes his head no, jumping up on the _broken_ counter before I can stop him. He grins when I reach out, only to be dropped to his doom as the table top wobbles and slides off, dumping him face first on the tile. He shrieks dramatically. I twitch.

Should I help him? Or is that a girly thing?

Hm.

"Fucker! Why didn't you warn me, Gaara?" He stumbles, my arms instinctively going out to catch him, unlike the first time. His head rests in the crook of my neck. His breath feels nice.

Should I say something sexy?

Growling mentally, a blush paints my cheeks, I can feel the warmth there. My eyes close, everything but us fades away into the background. It's like one of those soap opera things. But I like it.

Until, "Gaara, you're bleeding through your bandages and - ew! It's in my hair ah!"

Dammit.

He grabs my hand, and smiles when we pull away. "Where's your bathroom?"

Oh, up the invisible hall way. Stupid fucking rail. He's going to see the crater stuck where the thing used to be. And then he's going to be like, "are you fucking poor?" and my life, or lack, thereof, will be over.

"No, it's fine. I'll just..." Think, Gaara. Paper towels? Yes, paper towels. "I'll clean up, you go into the living room..."

We don't _have_ a living room. Fuck...

My quick thinking ends up with me running over to the sink while he begins to leave and dunking the back of my head into the water, just in time to hiss, "no wait, it's okay now!"

He stops, bewildered, and raises one sharp blond eyebrow.

"Riiight. Well, I came here to ask if we were still on for tomorrow...? If you're not up to it I - "

"**NO**," I shriek completely uncool. He looks like a deer in the headlights that got smacked with a stop sign. Frantic and pained. I recover and move closer to him, so close that I could just reach out and grab his hips... all I would need to do would be to unbutton my jeans and - **fuck**.

"I'm fine, Naruto. We're 'on'."

I smile slightly at him, hoping he calms from my extremely out of character outburst. It just makes him look even more flustered. Damn.

"Oh... Okay then."

Before I process what he's doing, he's leaning forward, his soft lips meeting my cheek. I fight the blush that pops back up, and it screams, _fuck you Gaara!_ quite adventively. You when this time, you bitch.

Naruto's looking at me funny. It's almost... adorable.

"Sorry," I mutter, and he shrugs, going for the front door. I follow him and lead him out, breathing in his scent. Like coconuts.

He smiles a sweet, _fuck me now_ smile. I nearly take its hidden invitation. But that would be wrong. For him. He needs time. _I_ don't, but he does...

Naruto's blue eyes blink, I can identify all the different shades, like a rainbow in the sky. So wide and deceivingly innocent.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nod, licking my lips, a light smirk rising. "Yes."

"G.. goodbye then, Gaara."

He starts to walk away but I yank his hand back, bringing him back against my chest, ripping into his mouth with my tongue. His hand curls on my neck, clenching the fabric of my shirt. He tastes like coffee and something smokey, enough to make me yearn for more.

After at _least_ five minutes, off and on for air, we break apart. He's not smiling anymore. And his eyelids are low, I can almost taste his groan.

"T-tomorrow..."

He glances back at me as he walks away. I grin at him smugly until he disappears.

Back to counting down the hours.

-

I actually made it through school without punching/kicking/eliminating any of the retarded classmates I'm forced to attend Hell with. How I hate them. So, _so_ much.

God help me, two hours and thirty seven minutes, forty-nine seconds.

What to wear, what to wear? Maybe something black. Oh! Look! My entire wardrobe is black. How convenient. Maybe a bath? People like their dates to smell nice, I'm assuming. I've never _been_ on one, though.

Whatever.

Our shower is dinky, and small. Like everything else. I sigh as the water runs down my body, pooling at my feet. I pick up the soap, applying it, and then wash my crusty hair, wincing at the still caked blood. I forgot to wash my hair yesterday... Glaring, I scrub, and flick on some of Temari's lavender body spray.

Hm. Lavender. Too girly? Not compared to _Naruto_ anyway. So that's done. I get out, wrapping multiple towels around my waist, just because of the pleasant scratchy feeling. I _am_ the schools local sadist, after all.

Inspecting my attire, I button up the black dress shirt, and slip on the tight black jeans, grunting in approval.

Now. The last thing on my agenda.

"Kankuro," I murmur, glaring him down.

He opens the door to my bedroom, whistling gaily. "Yeah?" My eyes narrow, he immediately fixes his sentence. "_Yes_ Gaara? Something you need?"

"I want the car."

His brow raises skeptically, but he doesn't say anything. "Here you go."

I pocket them, throwing a lethal glare just to see him writhe, and walk out. Sure it's crappy, but it's a car. Despite the fact that I only have my learners, I climb in, instantly groaning in frustrating when the door fucking FALLS off.

Why does everything I own _break_? And the exact moment I choose to use it?

"Kankuro, get your ass out here and fix this!"

He comes out with duct tape, grumbling as he applies it to the door. I smack him away and I rev the engine, starting for Iruka-sensei's house. Apparently, Naruto's staying there. Which pisses me off, because that pervert Kakashi is there, too.

I nearly get slaughtered by the many aggressive drivers, but manage to make it out alive. Just in time to pick up Naruto. He grins at me, obviously expecting some sort of gift. I'd cut out a lock of hair, but our relationship isn't quite to _that_ stage yet. To him.

"Hey," he mumbles, slipping into the piece 'o shit Kankuro calls a car. He looks at me slyly, licking those plump pink lips of his. I shift uncomfortably. "So what do you want to see?"

"Hn."

"Click?"

I shrug. "Whatever you want is fine." I try smiling again, if only to show him I'm not _completely _unresponsive and anti social.

He smiles back and his eyes sparkle with mischief. "Pirates of the Caribbean then!"

I smirk, eyeing him while I put the car in drive. "I take it you've seen this movie?"

Blushing, he lets his mouth hang open, staring at me like I've just killed his entire - "

"YOU HAVEN'T?"

My elbow brushes against his, my stomach clenches unpleasantly.

"Not a movie person." Well, I don't really have any friends to go to the movies with. So it's out, mostly. Unless I want to be a reject and go to the movies alone. Pfft. I'm ripped on enough for being homicidal. _No thanks._

"Oh," he murmurs, drumming his tanned fingers on the dashboard. "So you don't mind seeing it?"

"No."

What I would really like to happen, would be as following:

"Gaara, whys the car stopping - _GAARAAAAA_!

"Yeah, that's right."

Grunt, slap, thrust, heavy pants.

Repeaaat. Constantly.

But my delicious thoughts are halted when Naruto pokes me. We've stopped. At the stupid movie theater. Damn.

I frown disapprovingly.

His smile is so bright, that I get up and open his door, twitching. Something hot feels like it's burning into my back. But whatever. Today, is definitely the night.

Naruto's ass, meet Gaara jr.

Because you're getting _very_ well acquainted.

If I have anything to say about it, that is.

Maybe the movie is sexy?

That'll help.

Or maybe Naruto will be horny.

Even better.

-

Ah, the joys of writing Gaara. Yes, you will find out who Naruto met next chapter. And Sasuke spying. Mwhah.

Also, check out my newfic**Forget Me Not, **a SasuNaru AU based on the _Nightmare before Christmas._ Yes, I am pimping it out.

_WHERE HAVE ALL MY REVIEWERS GONE?_

You've disappeared! ;.;

Please come back, or I'll have to form a search part consisting of me and my dog and maybe my Gaara plush doll in a wheel chair!


	7. My Other Half

Disclaimer: -sigh- Hasn't happened yet.  
Warning: Obnoxious yaoi here, and there and a sprinkle of het. But mostly obnoxious yaoi. -cheers-  
Pairing: SasuNaruGaa, Minor KakaIru, LeeSaku, ShikaIno, NejiSasuHina

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?  
**Chapter Six: My Other Half (the Homicidal Maniac)  
Sasuke's POV

o-o-o

Today has been the worst day of my life. Of course, I'm an Uchiha, so technically, I'm not supposed to like _any_ day. But, this monstrosity has shot up the latter pretty damn fast. My eye twitches violently as I stare down a MOST unwelcome visitor. Someone who I wish was _dead_.

Yes, I do.

And no, it's not Orochimaru.

Close.

_Fuck a duck_. I am that pissed.

Itachi. My brother. My...

Urgh.

And he's smiling. I wish it would rain. And lightning would magically come down from the puffy white sky and strike this man dead, leaving his mangled body convulsing on my porch.

Okay, not really. I don't hate him _that_ much.

But enough.

"Sasuke!" He sweeps me up in a hug. I don't return it. I don't even _think_ about returning it. He might get some ideas that I don't want to participate in. When he realizes that no, I am not going to touch him, he drags his freshly painted black nails across his chest, smile curving into a vicious smirk. "You aren't going to invite me in?"

"No." I glare for good measure.

He barges in anyway. He has a bag. What the hell? He's not staying in _my_ house. No fucking way.

"Decent, I must say..."

Growling, I slam the door and follow him into the kitchen, narrowing my eyes while he picks at the bright yellow wall paper. "It wasn't my idea."

His eyebrows rise curtly. "Oh? That blond boy outside?"

I have two options here.

I'd never thought it would come to this...

A, I could shrug and act nonchalant... but he would clue in on that if Naruto ever came home. B, I could tell him to mind his fucking business and get rilled up, and it would make me feel better. Hm...

"What... blond boy?" I choose to go for the less interesting letter, C, that would soon get tired of A and B and slaughter them in their sleep. He's destructive like that. I quickly formulate a plan. Plan Stupid. Itachi has an intelligent complex, so we'll see how it works out.

"You know... the one kneeling at my feet like some common homeless person." He snickers at that. I'm _slightly_ amused at Naruto being a homo - hobo. Slightly, I said... "He ran away after he told me this was your house."

"You didn't know?"

Itachi rolls his eyes as he sits on the kitchen counter, me mentally making a note to bleach it later and leaning against it casually. "Like I keep track of you, little brother."

"Then why are you here," I counter softly, narrowing my eyes just the slightest. Something about him puts me on edge. Like he's about to transfer his obnoxious gayness onto me. He's being tame as we speak, but I know Itachi. Normal and Itachi are two words never used in the same sentence, ever.

He sighs softly, his head shifting, neck making little disgusting popping noises. Um.. ew. Checking the clock swiftly, I realize how long I've spent with _him_ and shudder. Naruto should be at Iruka's about now... sulkily getting ready for his... date... with that redheaded psycho. God, I hate Gaara. Almost, if not _more_ that Itachi.

Said man scratches his stomach absently.

_God_dammit.

Awkward silence.

I bite my lip, trying to keep my next sentence brief and to the point.

"Well, I hate you, Itachi -let's face it- and you're annoying. Be outta my house by the time I get back... from the ... cleaners."

Crimson eyes lock with mine while I saunter out of the kitchen. "Oh? What for? And why should I? I think I like this town, Sasuke dearest. And I'm sure I haven't met your little friend. He seems interesting, don't you think?"

_HATE_. **ITACHI**.

Wisely, I don't make a sound as I leave. If I did he would take it for victory. He better fucking be gone... hate... kill... maim... fuck - NARUTO - not... kill... cock... ass... kill...

o-o-o

"Hey! D'you know that there's duck tape on the - "

"Yeah."

"Oh."

My blood quickly heats up. A simple conversation is enough to PISS me off. How dare that fucking poor, low life - shit!- he almost saw me. I bet he knows I'm here... bet he's waiting... to... to do something horrible nasty, that little punk. I readjust the magazine covering my face, slowly making my way into the theater behind them. No, I'm not stalking them.

That would be stupid.

Besides, I want to see this movie...

Well not really. Not a movie person, but that's not the damn point. I just, as a friend,... Naruto's virginity shouldn't go to some half baked asshole named Gaara.

"Excuse me, Sa... Sasuke-kun, but what are you doing here... watching Naruto-kun and Gaara-kun?"

The whiny brat Hinata is staring me down. I know she wants a piece of Naruto, too. But she's too shy to go for it. And, he's also too gay to touch a vagina. Hm. Works out. Behind her is her most annoying cousin, Neji.

Who I wish wouldn't breathe on me in gym class, but my pleas are never quite answered, now are they?

"Nothing," I grumble, adjusting the magazine. Naruto's standing at the snack bar, ordering his weight in crap he doesn't need. If that were me I'd tell him to starve or suck it. It's usually effective, actually. And we both get what we want But I... forget it.

Gaara's shelling out money. My god, he can count... hmph.

"Sasuke - "

"Shut it, Neji," I hiss, clenching my teeth. He squints those white eyes of his that are completely illogical and, crosses his arms, staring me down.

"I was merely asking if you'd like to join - "

"SHUT UP NEJI... wait, what?"

Damn. I was ready for that one, just took me off guard...

He glares and acts like it actually pains him to repeat the sentence. I hate Neji most of the time. This, is one of those times.

"We're planning on watching Pirates Two, would you like to join us?" He blushes softly, and I consider his offer. Truthfully it doesn't appeal to me. But...

Yes, I would be closer to Naruto without being conspicuous. Yes, I have a valid reason for being here if he questions. But, Neji breathing on me... disgusting. But okay.

"Fine."

Hinata sends me a tight smile, but I jauntily ignore it as I begin to talk to Neji, hoping that my voice carries while we walk by Naruto and Gaara and FUCK Gaara did not just smirk at me -wannatearhimapart- rip your face off you won't be smiling then...

Neji taps on my shoulder. "Is there a problem Sasuke?"

I can _hear _the grinds in my head working, tweaking, slightly worried that Itachi has left my house in shambles, but mostly angry at the cocky asshole with lame red hair.

We descend into the darkened movie theater, previews beginning to show. I have to sit in between the two blushing idiots, who only serve one purpose.

Naruto, I notice casually, is bouncing.

"Man, I have _so_ wanted to see this movie again. It's pretty amazing Gaara, believe it!"

Sadly, my lips twitch up, and I can't hide a small smile. His old childish catch phrase repeating in my ear.

"Mm. I bet. Naruto, can I - er - "

"What Gaara?"

"I... mean, would you let me - "

Naruto continues to stare. Gaara continues to act like a little girl.

It amuses me slightly.

Well, it did until Gaara just reaches over and curls an incredibly pale arm around MY property, who is pleasantly not aware of the implications. A tearing feeling blossoms in my chest, my conscious for the most part unheard. I rip Neji's straw from his soda viciously and stab it at Gaara's head, smirking triumphantly when he turns back at me, heat radiating off him in waves.

He mouths, Fuck You.

I mouth, No Thanks, and precede to kick his seat. Naruto squeals when a loud shooting sound comes from the screen. I sigh. That damn coffin scene is his favorite.

Scanning the Hyuuga's remaining junk food consumption, I pick up a piece of ranch covered popcorn, disgusting by the way, and toss it at Gaara just as he's leaning toward Naruto's cheek. It leaves a funny looking white mark on his temple. Hah.

Finally, two shocked blue eyes meet mine. Gaara sits back smugly, letting Naruto do all the shrieking.

Very well, might I add.

"Uchiha fucking Sasuke! What the HELL d'you think you're doing stalking me? And in'a movie theater with Neji? You _know_ I hate him, ggaaah - I hate you Neji! - oh and hi Hinata-chan, but anyway, you fucking suck! Why can't you go - "

Neji looks slightly uncomfortable and disgruntled. Hinata is blushy and sweating.

"Who says I'm _not_ on a date, Uzumaki?" I reply calmly. Possibly, grabbing Neji's clammy hand was not a good idea. Maybe, Naruto reaching across the seat to claw at Neji's hair, wasn't either. Gaara grabs Naruto's ass, shuffling him back in his chair, barely restraining him, while I glare at the psycho.

An annoyingly bright light flashes in our eyes. I turn in time to get a nose full of flashlight.

"Is there a problem?" a boy asks lazily.

When I'm about to answer, Naruto stands briskly and walks past him, Gaara's slimy hand in his. "No, no problem. We were just leaving, _right_ Gaara?" He makes sure to stare pointedly at me as he leaves.

Gaara nods, almost happily.

Asshole.

My fist crushes Neji's hand, which is still lodged between my fingers.

Absently, I hear his scream.

o-o-o

TBC...

I'm really ubber sorry this took so long. I just, every time I tried to write, I hit another brick-Neji.

And thanks for returning reviewers! You all made me and my Gaa-plushy happy. :D

So as long as you will review, I will try my _DAMNEDEST _to make this the stupidest, pwpist yaoi thing you can imagine. And just MAYBE I will write a limeish thing, the masses choice. Yup. But only either SasuNaru or GaaNaru.


	8. Everything is All Right

Disclaimer: -sigh- Hasn't happened yet.  
Warning: Obnoxious yaoi here, and there and a sprinkle of het. But mostly obnoxious yaoi. -cheers-  
Pairings: SasuNaruGaa, Minor KakaIru, LeeSaku, ShikaIno, NejiSasuHina, LeeGaa?ish.

o-o-o

Sasuke broke his hand out of a passionate, undying **love**.

That was what Neji told himself on the way to the hospital, starry eyed and just a little drugged on pain killers. Hinata bit her lip nervously, eyeing the paramedics with suspicion as she helped Neji with his obviously useless hand.

Neji began to smile stupidly, and started salivating on himself.

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?**

Chapter Seven: Everything is All Right  
Naruto's POV

o-o-o

So all of a sudden, I got really, really pissed. And when I'm pissed, obviously, I do questionable things.

Like making out with Gaara.

In his nasty brother's car.

And um, well, his hand is sort of up my shirt.

And yeah, I'm enjoying it.

_A lot._

I like his tongue.

Preeetty impressive.

But, all of a sudden he's stopping (what!) and pulling away from me, though he's taking my bottom lip with him, smirking against me. The action is so erotic, and when he let's go, I can feel the heat radiating off my face. Okay, okay, I'm all right,

Just, holy fuck. Gaara is a damn good kisser.

Take that, Sasuke.

You suck.

"Huh?" I mutter dumbly, and I definitely know my eyes are glazed over. My pants are uncomfortably tight. Ew, I know, why am I saying this? "How'd you get so good, Gaara?" I recover, blushing.

Well, it's an honest question. He's not exactly the most popular kid at our school. This one time, Sasuke and I were walking by the boy's locker room and all the jocks were giving him a wedgie. Yeah, I laughed, and then I kicked their faces off. Sasuke just looked. As always.

And I think that time was the _only_ time I saw Gaara smile. Well, without a meaning behind it. I'm not stupid, I know that he wants the Naruto, who wouldn't? I'm hella sexy.

"I, just, I practice."

"On... who?"

Heat rises on his face, and oh man, it's adorable. His fingers start to toy with my hair. That's kind of nice. I grin, licking his nose.

"I had a... an acquaintance. His name is Lee... and well, I don't want to talk about it."

LEE.

Leeeeee.

Lee.

My eye ball just popped out of its socket.

Somewhere, and old lady is screaming. Distantly, there are car lights flashing in our eyes.

But I'm still stuck on this...

God.

"What...?"

He shifts uncomfortably.

"Yeah..."

"Huh. I thought he likes Sa - "

"**Yeah**.."

I shrug nonchalantly. "So you want to keep making out?"

He nods, and grabs my shirt, pulling me into his lap gracelessly. Instantly our mouths are one, moving in sync.

And just, oh _god_.

-

When I get home, more than a little ruffled, the lights are off in every room. Kakashi-sensei and Iruka are probably doing it, so I don't bother looking around.

Mistake number one.

A flashlight goes off the my right, distracting me, and arms go around my waist, pulling me out of the door. My first action of escape? I bring my leg back, and knee whoever it is in the groin. Mwhaha. He squeals in horror/pain, and yes, it is Sasuke.

"God fucking dammit Naruto."

"Whatdya want?"

I shake his hand off my leg, glaring icily. He moves to get up, clutching his nads, when I do it again, except this time with my foot. It's so hilarious to see his eyes go wide and his mouth falling open to scream. Sasuke had a nice mouth...

Sasuke...

The skin on his stomach is exposed when his shirt rides up and it's perfectly pale, so smooth... fuck I JUST got back from Gaara.

Damn.

When he finally picks himself off the floor, I'm already in the kitchen, pouring chocolate milk and making Raman. Dating makes me hungry, obviously...

"You're always eating..." He murmurs against the back of my neck, and I shiver, arching up. His fingers rest at my hips. Not like I want them there...

"You're always fucking retarded!" I hiss, throwing him a dirty look over my shoulder as I take the Raman off the stove, putting it in a bowel.

The smell of delicious chicken reaches my nose. Raman never acted like a dick to me.

Chicken Raman never ran its hands up my sides...

Or kissed my ears when I was sleepy...

Or rubbed my forehead and told me suck it up when I was sick... hey. Asshole.

And now it's definitely not sucking on my neck. "Sasuke!"

I can even feel his grin on my neck, his arms wrapping around me from behind and trapping me against the table. Damn.

"Na... Naruto? What's wrong?"

Ohhh sneaky bastard.

My belt just hit the floor.

Nonono!

This isn't happening... again. Hah.

Oh well.

I pivot and grab his long ass bangs, bringing him down to my level and shoving my tongue right on down his throat until he gags (well not really). He pushes me into the table, carefully setting the Raman on the counter. And okay, technically we haven't REALLY had sex... just groping and nakedness and kissing... and yeah.

And now we are... oh man.

But hey, the table isn't really all the sturdy.

Too bad Sasuke didn't _warn me first._

And, who let him in anyway?

o-o-o

TBC...

Short chapter, sorry. Don't kill me!

Being a sophomore is reallllly hard. I'm not even lying.

So review... mwhaaa. And you shall get a lime next chapter. SasuNaru was the popular vote. Ch.


	9. Gaara Puts the Eff You in Fun

Disclaimer: They would be sexy ninjas, who do sexy things. All sexy day.  
Warning: Yaoi. Lots'nLots.  
Pairings: Sasu/Naru/Gaa, Sasu?Gaa? Hmmm. I kind of like it. KakaIru. All the others I've stated.

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?**  
Chapter Eight: Gaara Puts the Eff You in Fun  
Gaara's POV

o-o-o

So Halloween.

October.

_Cold_.

A breath of fresh air in my opinion. How I hate Summer, even Spring. Useless seasons. Although, no, I do not like the holiday in all honesty. Why? Isn't this my _favorite_ day ever because I can be considered normal for wearing sharpie around my eyes? Well no. Then I'm just like every other freak.

And that's not very fun.

Though, Kankuro really gets into it. He cackles as he throws the dead cat in the candy bowel we found in the dumpster a few days ago, while Temari is fixing her costume for the thirtieth time. She's going as Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

How... 'original'.

Most children my age would be attending parties, generally not sitting here, alone. Thinking about a certain... someone. Mmm.

I wonder what my beauty is doing, at this very second.

No, I am not going to masturbate. No... no hand, no.

Hah. I have something better.

I throw on some (oh wow my god) black clothes, and slip out of the house relatively unnoticed.

_Gaara what the hell it's nine thirty! Get back... oh okay, ahhieee. Hey what's Gaara - oh dear god!..._

I sneak past the few parked cars on our road, running in a direction I know by heart. And no, it's not because I stalk him. I helped him with his homework after that _thing_ took off and he started staying with that pervert teacher and the other slightly less closet pervert teacher.

Theres always a fucking bush right in front of the door. I can practically feel my nonexistent eyebrows twitch. Sigh. Last time I climbed over it I fell _into_ the door and busted my head open, again.

This time, it will not conquer me.

Never again, bush.

Slowly, I make my move and lift my right leg, wincing as the thorns scrape across the insides of my thigh. Once it touches solid ground, I grin, and do the same with my other leg.

It's about the time I lose my balance that a irrationally blinding light shines in my eyes, someone with strange hair shrieking in my face.

"_GAARA WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU DOING DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS JESUS CHRIST!"_

I think he's kind of overrating considering I just checked my watch and it said a little past ten. A man with tangled up silver hair, who yes, is Kakashi, steps in front of Iruka.

"Yeah. Do you wanna see, eh, Naru-chan kid?"

He just used two _Gaara will tear out your fucking throat_ phrases/words in one sentence. First, Naruto is **mine** and no one, I don't care if it was his grandmother, calls him Naru-chan. No, just no. And kid? What the fuck! I growl, low and menacing. He doesn't back off.

But finally, after so long, a sluggish voice starts shouting. "Hey, shut the fuck up you guys!! If you're trying to have sex, do it a little quieter. We're playing Halo!"

Ah, Naruto. But... he said 'we'.

I don't think I like that.

So, getting up and brushing my knees off, I storm past the aghast rooster and the grinning pervert and see myself to Naruto's room. I don't bother knocking, what a useless idea.

But before I turn the knob, I breathe in. As I hate to admit it, my stomach is tied in intricate knots. I feel like such a love sick, obsessed girl.

Hn.

The door creaks open, revealing inches to my eyes of Naruto's orange themed guest room. Those two, they care for him. They even bought him an XBOX 360.

That's love.

And thank god. Naruto's with Lee. Yes, Rock Lee.

Ewww.

They're cursing, (well not Lee) and spluttering and knocking the bed around. I think Naruto loses, because he slams the control down on the floor and crosses his arms, blushing.

It's so adorable.

In a fucked up sort of way.

When he spots me, he smiles and pats the space next to him. I quickly glance to Lee, seeing his eyes trained on the screen and nod, taking my place beside him.

"Hey... Gaara." He keeps busy with the stupid thing, and completely ignores me for the next five minutes. Again, with the no eyebrows thing.

I am unpleasantly surprised when Naruto turns to Lee, smiling (completely disregarding my presence) and speaks in a cheerful voice. "Do you want some pizza? I think Iruka has some left from the other night!"

Lee smiles back, but at the look I shoot him, politely declines. Then Naruto has the nerve to look back at me, biting his lips.

"No," I growl, already half way down the stairs and out of the door.

Bitch.

It's that _thing_, I can feel it. They're back together.

"_HEY GET BACK HERE GAARA, WALTZING INTO _MY _HOUSE LIKE YOU OWN IT ARRGGG!"_

"Stuff it, Rooster," I hiss, slamming the door in his face.

"Thank you and come again," Kakashi giggles on the other side.

Fuck them.

"Gaara waiiit! Aiieee!"

I don't even glance in his direction as I jump the fence, already defeating the bush. When I take off in a jog I'm quickly tackled and manhandled. Ugh. Naruto may be the more feminine looking one, but he has untapped strength when he wants to use it.

"I..."

"No," I glare, shaking my head. "Let me guess. I don't think it's too hard."

"Gaara..." He tilts his head to the side, a avalanche of golden spikes falling into his eyes. "It's not like that. Sasuke and I, we're - I don't know. It's just complicated. Okay?"

"Sure," I hiss firmly, thrusting up, to no avail in getting him off. Fuck.

"Hey I... wait... um, Gaara! It's _snowing!"_

No way. A flake just landed on my nose, melting away.

"It can't snow in October," I whisper, biting my lip.

"Yeah."

We lay here, watching the snow fall as little monsters fly around to houses, demanding candy in their handout bags.

"I won't take defeat lightly, Uzumaki."

He smirks, leaning in closer to me. "I really liked you Gaara. But that bastard, well. You have my full support in kicking his ass whenever you want."

Something prickles at my eyes, but it's not quite the snow. It's strange, and I'm not sure what it is... it couldn't be. Why?

I quickly wipe my face but it's too late, two wide blue eyes are looking at my in wonder. "Gaara, are you - crying? -"

"No," I snarl, hurrying up with "and if you even try telling anyone I'll - "

I sigh, not bothering to finish. He knows anyway that it's an empty threat. I couldn't hurt him. Not in violence... anyway. Other... ways.

But not anymore, I suppose.

Ah, well.

"So long Uzumaki."

I stand, hauling him up with me.

"Yeah. Well we can still be friends, eh?"

I shrug. "Hn."

"I think I'll take that as a yes."

"Whatever."

"Kay."

"Hm."

"So, I should get going."

The snow seems to stop all at once, and there's barely anything covered. It's too hot, for snow anyway. It just melts away.

I turn, and start walking, hands stuffed in my pockets.

It's been a while since I've felt like this.

"Hey - Gaaaara!"

Fuck.

Rock Lee.

How'd he get out here?

Goddamn it.

o-o-o

TBC...

How I love the fact that my characters are basically incompetent. AKA Gaara and the "bush of satan". Hahah. I thought this chap was kind of pretty...? Idk.

Annnnd, SasuNaru lemon is NEXT chapter. I forgot this one was Gaara. My bad. So please have patience. Lemons are pretty easy to write so I'll have it out sooner. K, go review now.


	10. He Who Loves Frogs

Disclaimer: They would be sexy ninjas, who do sexy things. All sexy day.  
Warning: Yaoi. Lots'nLots.  
Pairings: Sasu/Naru... GAARA/ITACHI! Since I just can't decide on either Neji or Lee. Nyyaaaa. And it's not changing this time. I don't... think. I hope not.

o-o-o

**So You're In Love With Your Best Friend?**  
Chapter Ten: He Who Loves Frogs  
Sasuke's POV

o-o-o

I smirk lazily, running my hand down a whiskered cheek. He's back, he came back to me. Just like I knew he would. Insert mildly Itachi-like Sasuke laugher here.

Gaara honestly never stood a chance. Not with me in the picture. He tried, and I'll give him credit. He caught Naruto's attention for a while, but it was always me that drove Naruto crazy, took him to that place he never wanted to go. Always.

All it really took... all he needed to hear...

Three words. What's so scary about that? Maybe if you mean them, perhaps they're not that terrifying. I smile crookedly, looking down at my drooling idiot. Yeah, mine. It's time to grow up, Sasuke. And I'm starting.

One bright blue iris cracks open, staring right back at me. He blinks, the sheet covering his body falls as he sits up, exposing cream colored flesh to me. His hand reaches out, and I grab it awkwardly. We kind of glare each other down... except, it's turning me on.

"Sasuke," he whispers, probably unsure how he got to my house, when we clearly had sex at _his_ house. It involved a wagon, and duct table is all I will say.

I shrug, breaking our connection to go take a well deserved shower. "Yeah. Just leave it at that."

Naruto huffed, puffing out his cheeks. "Pft. No. Tell me how I got here, teme."

"You're naked. How do you think."

That line just earned him a scowl and a rather rude hand gesture. Red quickly trails up his neck, spreading on his cheeks in blotches that make him look like he has poison ivy. It's rather adorable, that he _still_ blushes like this.

And just a little weird. Naruto scratches his blond mop, shifting on the bed to his side. "Meh. Give me a real answer. I _know _we had sex, idiot... I just, I dunno."

I grin, kneeling over his petite frame and kissing his shoulder gently. He stiffens the moment my lips brush his flesh. "You want to know if my feelings are true? Yes.. they are. I lo... **I love you. **Happy?"

He sniffs, but I know he's not crying. No, probably the opposite. The covers are thrown away, his body catapulting into mine, my arms coming around him in a soft embrace. Absently he licks my neck. "Good. I was getting sick of your stupid ass indecision."

I roll my eyes, letting my hand drift down his side. "Dobe."

He groans as it gets lower, my fingers ghosting across his hip, tracing the outline of bone there.

"Asshole," he chokes.

"You don't mean that." I smirk, taking his awakening arousal in my hand.

"Nnn..."

"What was that dobe?"

Naruto bites his lip, not noticing me inching him back toward the bed, laying him down and mounting him. Once he realizes it however, his eyes narrow, both with pleasure and suspicion.

"Again, Sas... Sa_su_ke..."

I grab the lube stashed under the pillow for these such occasions, grinning while preparing him. "Don't tell me you don't want this. I can see it for my self." His foot goes out to kick me in the face, but I take his ankle, pulling him closer and swiping his leg with my tongue.

He makes a face, blanching. "Ewww. Kinky bastard."

I shrug, arching my back and taking out my fingers from him with practiced ease, enjoying the visible shiver that runs up his spine. Naruto closes his eyes, hiking his legs up and over my shoulders. I can tell he isn't pleased, but he nods. "Go slow asshole. I'm still recuperating from last night, okay..."

He blushes again as I push inside, biting my lip to keep from hissing. Damn. This boy is gloriously tight. And rightfully so. If he had sex with Gaara... well, let's say that Gaara would be headless right now. In more ways than one.

"Ahhhh... nehh, Sas, Sasuke..."

He trails his hands in hair, wrapping strands around his nimble fingers, my hips moving in and out in a slow, rewarding motion.

"What, fuck, what," I moan, burying my face in his sweaty neck.

"Did, nh, you ever clean up the mess we, ahhh there! fuck, made on Iruka's table?" Naruto manages, clawing at my back.

"No."

"Ohhh..."

We came at the same time, my hand firmly pumping him to my thrusts, our mouths mashing together in the heat of the moment. I'm extremely pleased I didn't take that shower, now.

In the few seconds of chaos that passes, I can only think of one thing. I hate Itachi.

As we come down from our highs, the door to my room bursts open and in steps Satan's favorite little helper, my brother... ew. And with his presence, he brings death. Shurikens fly into the wall above the headboard, my hands covering the hair that sticks up, while Naruto shrieks, falling off the bed in all his naked glory.

Itachi stops his assault, eyeing us.

"It smells like ass in here."

I try, and fail to control my fierce anger. Death is on my finger nails, I can feel them curl in hate. I only barely suppress it.

That is, until Itachi's creepy as hell eyes fall on my, MINE, what _belongs TO ME, _Naruto

I think I can still hear the police sirens ringing in my ears. The whole neighborhood is outside, watching me and my stupid ass brother beat the crap out of each other. He's got me in a headlock on the front lawn when I turn, catching someone walking up to us with shock white hair, red lines falling down his face. The crowd parts to let him through.

Jiraiya, the fucking pervert bastard toadman.

He giggles at our dispute, kicking us apart. "Boys. What's going on here?" I roll on my side, rubbing at my throat. Itachi tried to choke me.

Naruto hobbles out of the mansion, clothed thank god, and starts yelling at me. "What the FUCK is wrong with you Sasuke!" But I'm not the only one getting his head screamed off. Itachi has to bear it too. "And YOU. Who the HELL do you think you are, goddamn it? What's up with this family!"

Family? Well that's rude. I'm only related to that thing through blood. And thin blood, at best.

Jiraiya shrugs, flicking the blond on the forehead. "Well, someone _did_ call about a domestic dispute, but since it's you guys, I'll just... LEAVE. Hahahah." Jiraiya cackles back to his car creepily. We all stare at his retreating form.

What an idiot. How does he do his job?

He doesn't, that's how.

Naruto helps me up, shaking his head.

"Why do I put up with you?"

I smile slightly, ruffling his hair, ignoring his protest. And then that leaves Itachi.

Who is... GONE. Ahh! I run into the house, my own eyes feel like popping out at the sight of him whistling and making eggs, happily at that. Like nothing happened. The crazy.

I think I'd better lay down right now.

o-o-o

TBC...

A gazillion months... of no updates, I know. I had fun with the last part of this chapter, hee. I hope you can tell. I think Jiraiya is definitely my favorite character, just because of his voice. Omg. Amazing.

This was indeed supposed to be out a lot quicker. It's _so_ hard to write a fandom when you're not in it anymore. My god.

I hope you enjoyed my half assed lemon though. Mou!

Plzzz review! We're winding down to the last chapter, oh noes! I think two more, yes yes.


End file.
